[36] I'll Be Damned

     I made that other blog

to get away from the darkness of this one.

Yea, I haven't even posted on here in forever

and I'm still purging.  I purge over absolutely nothing.

I don't know if I'm happy, miserable, depressed, content.

It's up and down all the time.

But I can control this.

I firmly believe that I don't have a mental problem,

I just have my limits, and they are being tested

and that is what is making me so crazed.

But I don't know my limits.

I don't know what's wrong.

Cut again, and I missed it.

Cutting.  Puking. Crying.

I am glorious.

I need love.  Love for myself.

Love for another.

There is no love in this house,

and it is a house 

because I'll be damned 

if I ever call it a home.

Daddy, I miss you so much.

So much just starting to think of it hurts.

So much that I just want this pain to go away.

So much it leaves me empty.

I feel lonely, maybe because I know people really do die.

People you never expect to,

no matter what the circumstances.

Please, someone out there.

Find Me.