[3] Fail

Fucked up last night.
Horribly.
I'm disgusted.

Hanging out with some friends
they drank beer,
I drank water.
They started cooking,
and I was fine,
then suddenly starving!

I ate 1 scooped whole wheat bagel [est. 100]
Full Fat Cream Cheese [200]
Thick Slice Of Steak Tomato [8]

The A Spinach Wrap [est. 100]
Full Fat Shredded Cheddar [50]
Lettuce [4]
Tomato [6]
Banana Peppers [12]

And Mixed Nuts [est 200]

So for the entire FUCKED night,
I totaled at 680 Calories.

More than I ate
that
entire
day.

Then I purged it all back up,
leaving probably around 100 calories
since I'm sure all the food never comes back up.

Then today sucked too.
Forgot to take my vitamins
which always makes me
even more uncontrollable.
I ordered breakfast with a friend.
An omelet,
3 egg whites [48]
Feta Cheese [198]
Tomatoes [15]
Onions [21]
Whole Wheat Toast [90]
Oatmeal [like 300 because I'm a cow]

Total = 672

This sent me over the edge,
because I lost control
and kept wanting to eat more
of the damn omelet
because it was there.
If it wasn't there,
there would have been no temptation.
Stupid omelet.
Stupid/fat/disgusting/cow/pig me.
I purged.
Maybe half of it.
So that's back down to
336.
But I don't want to purge anymore.
Has to stop.

So now I just ate 4 egg whites [64]
because I'm going to the gym later.
If I stay at that,
I'll have only consumed 400 calories today.
Consume. Disgusting.

I can burn that off at the gym.
Maybe I'll go earlier to get in some cardio
before Kelsie gets there.
We're working on our upper body today
since we worked our lower yesterday.
I did 20 crunches today.
That's nothing.
I should do more.