[25] Starving

I am fucking starving.

I am upset.

I am depressed.

All I want to do is

shovel food down my throat

and puke it all right back up...

Before, doing that 

would have been like nothing.

But now I just can't...

Everything looks like numbers to me,

not food.

I guess this is what I wanted though.

And I shouldn't complain

when I can do what other girls

only wish they could.

Another dreadful night...

I should try to sleep,

I'm tired as all hell...

And watching Moulin Rouge

Is probably a really stupid

idea right now.

I just want this shit 

with Wally to be over...

I want to see him so much.

But that's not right.

We're over...

I need to get used to that

and not let myself cling anymore...

It's not fair to either of us.

It's not fair to me.

I've got to stop doing this shit

to myself.

And thank you 

skinny business 

&

tearsnsorrow

for your comments & support.

Hope you guys, and everyone who reads this

are doing well.

Life's difficult,

but it's all one big expirience

to learn from after another.

Take it in stride.

Hopefully, I can follow 

my own advice as well.

Good night everyone.